Friday, November 6, 2015

WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?

I have been actively fighting depression for my entire 78+ years on this planet. I have done well on anti depressants for years, having to change medications only three times. This year I had several trips to hospital, heart problems first, but I managed to keep the expected depression under control. Then I had a very very mild stroke, and everything changed. . .for the worse! Now I am up for a day, and then down for a week. I don't want to move, leave the house, eat, bathe, or any other daily tasks. It is horrid! I feel like a yo yo! I'm afraid. I've never been afraid of much in my entire life. I hate feeling this way, my med isn't working right or something. I feel like I'm sinking in a pit, there is a ladder, but it sinks as I climb so I get nowhere! It is a nightmare way to live. I have become paranoid about my health and am afraid I'll do something that causes some other reason to be in hospital. I don't think about anyone but me. I'm turning into somebody I hate!

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