Friday, November 6, 2015


I have been actively fighting depression for my entire 78+ years on this planet. I have done well on anti depressants for years, having to change medications only three times. This year I had several trips to hospital, heart problems first, but I managed to keep the expected depression under control. Then I had a very very mild stroke, and everything changed. . .for the worse! Now I am up for a day, and then down for a week. I don't want to move, leave the house, eat, bathe, or any other daily tasks. It is horrid! I feel like a yo yo! I'm afraid. I've never been afraid of much in my entire life. I hate feeling this way, my med isn't working right or something. I feel like I'm sinking in a pit, there is a ladder, but it sinks as I climb so I get nowhere! It is a nightmare way to live. I have become paranoid about my health and am afraid I'll do something that causes some other reason to be in hospital. I don't think about anyone but me. I'm turning into somebody I hate!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

It's not gloomy, that's smoke!

The skies here in the Victor Valley in California are hazy, the sun hasn't peeked out for a couple of days, and there is just a general feeling of malaise in the air. The problem isn't clouds, it's smoke from all the fires on the other side of the hill. The prevailing winds naturally push everything from the coast back to the mountains and then over into our valley. For several days it was palpable, smelly, and rained ashes down on everything. It doesn't smell today, but the air is still full of nasty pollutants that no one wants to breathe in. The folks that live closest to all this smoke must really be having breathing troubles, how I wish it wasn't so. We all pray for the fires to be over, knowing full well that if the wind starts really blowing it could run the fire up to the top of the mountains and back down our side. It happened in 2003, I don't want to see it again.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Ted Kennedy

I first became aware of politics and the Kennedy family when I was a very young adult. A few years after the Korean war, Eisenhower was at the end of his second term, and here came John, roaring into the White House. Sadly John and Robert were assassinated before they could fulfill their full potential, but they were a dynamic duo, helping little brother Ted along with his political career. Senator Kennedy has been a calming force in the Senate for many years, respected by both Democrats and Republicans alike. It has only been the past few years that the parties have been so divided, and his was the voice of reason on the Senate Floor, calming and trying his best to get bi-partisan cooperation in the Senate. He cared about all the people who didn't have the means to get attention in Washington, he cared about their livelihoods, their health, their savings, and their ability to pay their rent or own a home. A compassionate and caring man, Godspeed Senator Kennedy, you will be missed by all.

Friday, August 21, 2009


I volunteer with my county sheriff's department, there are about 50 of us in our unit. The past 2 new classes have been overloaded with a bunch of people who wannabee a deputy, and argue with the higher ups when they mess up. We aren't supposed to do the deputies work, we are supposed to be an extra arm for them to use to do mundane tasks that must be done, but don't need "armed" troops. We fingerprint children, run errands, to and from the DA, and the main station 50 miles away, we cruise residential neighborhoods (well a very few of us will do it) to let people know the department knows that they are there, we check houses and businesses that are not occupied for one reason or the other, usually vacations, but also empty houses, businesses, and most importantly residences where an older person lives alone. We also do traffic control around town as necessary and at traffic accidents. They keep us plenty busy and they treat us as if we were the best people on earth. BUT The first rule we learned was "NEVER PUT YOURSELF IN HARM'S WAY!" But these boneheads run up on calls before the deputies can get there, not paying any attention to what kind of call it is. The only ones we run up on are traffic problems. They do Uturns in traffic, turn left on realllllly yellow lights, speed, and do all sorts of other things that could get them (or even worse) another of us killed! I love doing it, but these bozos have me scared to get in a department vehicle for fear of getting whacked! I manage our little newsletter, and try to write an up to date and informative editorial each month, but the powers that be don't like it when I mention stuff like these guys doing things that aren't on our "authorized list of things we can do". So I have to write a bunch of pap that makes me mad at myself. I think I will just call a spade a spade, the people that read the news like it that way!!!!!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Anticipation can be tittilating

Now we wait. Who will Obama pick for his cabinet? Who will we like, who won't we like? It is rather fun to watch all the media hype about every move Obama makes, rumor, truth, lies, which is which. Are there really leaks suddenly appearing? Are they deliberate, accidental, or just to keep us all interested in what is going on? I am having a ball, this is more fun than the entire run to the election was. I am looking forward to a new beginning for this country, I just hope that there is cooperation from everyone, no matter their party or their feelings. Let's just get together and take advantage of this great opportunity to have a President that already has respect and hopeful approval from foreign heads of state. Give him every opportunity to get the respect this nation has lost back, along with the trust from other nations. Even the Middle East nations who hate us seem to be receptive to at least talking with Obama. Let's give it a chance, maybe we can have peace in our time, it may be an uneasy peace, but give it a chance to work. Obama will be the greatest asset this country has had in years, if we all work together and support him and his cabinet, maybe this country and the world can recover from this financial crisis that is already being blamed on Obama by the radio talk show pundits. Hopefully they will lose their fair haired status soon and people will begin to see that we all need to pull together to make this a great country once again.